180 degrees...

ok wow... what a difference a few days can make... So I still have no job.. although i should get one before next monday which is always good... and my mom still nags and lectures like its her damn job... and Erika's mother still has some sort of issue with me... or anybody that could be me... so some of you may be wonderring what the hell is so good with you these days, absolutely nothing has changed since your last tirade? and my answer to that is... i have the most amazing girlfriend/bestfriend a kid could ask for...Erika has been my rock.. and i love her for it... she is their to console me when needed... lecture me when needed... and tell me when I'm being a jerk (not needed very often)...Actually im not really bothered my Erika's talk about collge anymore.. it really doesnt bother me anymore... Yesterday Erika felt bad saying she would be excited about collge when she was around me... and that kinda hurt... not because she would not say something around me... but because she really felt that way i dont ever want her to feel like she cant be excited about this amazing experience she is in for... she worked her ass off to get here.. and she damn well deserves to be excited about this.... hopefully i will pay my penence for 4 years of nothing this year and join in her in NYC next year... Last night erika and i got to talkin about how we felt a few moths ago about each other and our relationship... and erika said that up until fairly recently she might have wanted to try non-exculsive dating... which she had mentioned to me before but never as a potential happening.. so i was kinda shaken up by that.. but i know she doesnt want to know.. and it has long been determined that we are goin to stay together this year...Actually the reason i am so happy is because im kinda excited about next year... not goin to BCC or doin anything new, but for a different reason... a challenge im looking forward to with every bit of adventure in me.. the challenge to stay with erika through this year.. i know we will do it.. and i know it will be great... and i know that when we get through this year.. there is nothing that the two of us cant do... and that feeling when i get there is goin to be sheer extacy.... and that feeling is worth the wait... and its not like she is living very far so i still get to see her through this challenge....lol